Remember how I told you that I could ask my dogs if they wanted to get a colonoscopy today, and they’d probably respond with, “Hell yes, that’s our favorite thing!“?

Remember how I told you that everything is their favorite thing?

Well, to the  list that includes tangling themselves up in blankets to the point where they can’t move, charming the pants off of guests by flicking snake-like tongues into their faces, and continuously escaping from the back yard with Houdini-esque flair, you may now add the consumption of creamer-infused cotton balls.

Say-wha?

It’s actually a trick I learned when they were puppies – back when I discovered they would eat anything.  See, Justin and I left a few toothpicks on a plate in the living room one day after devouring some meatballs for dinner (did that sound dirty?), left the room for a bit, and when we came back, the toothpicks were gone.  Gone.  And in their place sat two slightly uncomfortable looking puppies.

Like any good dog mother would do, I frantically Googled what one should do when one’s pets swallow toothpicks, and much to my relief, this was not the first time in the history of horrible pet owners that this had happened.

What I discovered is that I needed to follow the somewhat “woody” appetizer with something softer and more palatable to ease toothpick passage through the digestive system – cotton balls, of course!  It turns out that cotton balls, when dipped in a bowl of coffee creamer to make them easier to swallow, are more beg-worthy than Beggin’ Strips when it comes to the discerning tastes of my brilliant dogs.

Now, I am not a veterinarian and therefore not qualified to dish out home remedies when it comes to your pets – I can only tell you that thanks to cream-laden cotton balls, we experienced no ill side effects to the toothpick swallowing incident.

Or the remote control swallowing incident.

Or the chicken bone swallowing incident.

Or the other remote control swallowing incident.

And people wonder why I’d be hesitant to ever become a “real” mom.