Soooooo apparently my crack at relationship analysis was a flop, because no one commented.  At all.  And I know you read it, because I can see the numbers.  It’s like magic.

Maybe no one wanted to tackle such a difficult question?

Maybe you were afraid I’d tear you to shreds with my lioness prowess if you dared counter my opinion?

Rawr.

Anyway.  I guess this means I need to stick to recipes and travel and backsplashes and embarrassing stories and not-so-embarrassing stories.

Because it’s not what I know – it’s how convincingly I act like I know what I don’t really know.  You know?

But if there’s one thing I really do know, it’s that almost nothing will make your house smell better on a cold winter day than a baking loaf of banana bread.  Except maybe Snickerdoodle flavored hot cocoa.  But that’s more of an in-your-nose type of smell – not a makes-you-want-to-lick-the-walls-in-your-kitchen-because-the-snozzberries-taste-like-snozzberries type of smell.

But the banana bread?  It makes me want to lick the walls.

Is that weird?

Banana bread is not something I never really set out to make.  It’s just what happens when we neglect to eat our bananas and they start to get all brown and nasty looking, and then we really don’t want to eat ’em.  So they either go to the dogs, or to the bread.  Those dark, mushy, horrible-looking bananas are perfect for banana bread.

I actually mixed a bunch of recipes together to come up with this one.  The nice thing about these dense bread loaves is there is definitely room to play when it comes to flavor.  Think you might not want it as sweet?  Cut back on the sugar.  Think you want it spicier?  Add more cinnamon and nutmeg.  Want it richer?  Add chocolate chips.  Want it to have that disgusting texture that happens when you add nuts to something that should be smooth?  Add nuts.

Anyway, my point is that you don’t need to make it exactly this way just because I made it this way.

Even though you should make it my way, because my way is best.

Just sayin’.

Here’s what I used:

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3 mashed bananas
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

If you’ve never made a loaf of dense bread like this, I’m telling you there’s really nothing much easier.

1.  Start by preheating your oven to 350-degrees F.  Grease and flour a 9×5″ loaf pan.  You might be able to use that nonstick spray stuff, but when it comes to baking, I usually prefer good old-fashioned Crisco and flour.

Just use a paper towel to spread the Crisco around the bottom and sides of the pan…

…Then plop a spoonful of flour into the pan…

…And then shake and rotate the pan around (preferably over a trash can) until the flour coats the whole thing.  Just dump out the excess flour when the pan’s fully coated.

Your grandma would be so proud!  Except for the fingerprints you left in the grease.  Grandma wouldn’t leave fingerprints in the grease.

Moving on…

2.  Grab your really brown, overripe bananas and mash ’em up with a fork.

This should be fairly easy if your bananas are at the optimal level of ripeness.

2.  In a separate bowl, cream together the 1/2 cup of softened butter, the 1/2 cup of white sugar, and 1/2 cup of brown sugar.

3.  Move the mixture to the side of the bowl, and add the 2 eggs.

Beat the eggs with a fork.

Mix the eggs in with the butter/sugar mixture.

Booyah!  I just saved YOU from another dirty bowl.

4.  Stir in the vanilla and mashed bananas.

5.  In a separate bowl, mix together the 1 1/2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg.

6.  Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture, and fold it in just enough until everything is moistened.  You don’t need to overwork it at this point.

7.  Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan, pop it in the oven for around an hour, and let the heavenly smells commence.

About 50 minutes into the cooking time, the top started to look a little dark even though the center was still undercooked.  This happens because my oven sucks.  If your oven sucks too, just cover the loaf loosely with foil and commence with the baking.

You’ll know it’s finished when you insert a toothpick in the center and no bread boogers stick to it when you pull it back out.

8.  When she’s done, pull the loaf out of the oven and let her cool for a minute or two before you remove her from the pan.  (I suddenly have this inexplicable feeling that my loaf is a girl.)

Let her pose for a couple of pictures.

You know she wants it.

Before she cools down too much, run a knife along the edge to loosen her up and then tip her out onto a cooling rack or plate.

If you’re lucky, you can slice and eat while it’s still warm.

Immediately spread with a little butter or margarine so it gets nice and melty…

Oh my.

Ooh baby.

You know I can’t resist your sexy dance of seduction…

Until next bite, my friend.

Until next bite.