It’s Like Yoda is the Dalai Lama but with Mad Ninja Skills
It has recently occurred to me that I’m not really a “roll with the punches” sort of person.
Nope.
Nor am I a take-that-full-blown-fist-to-the-face-then-just-shake-it-off type of person.
Both are admirable qualities, each of which — whether it be laid-back option A or stubborn as hell option B — I’ve been known to show from time-to-time, but rarely with any consistency.
So what type of person am I?
Turns out I pretty much like to avoid punches all together.
Yep. You read that correctly.
It’s ironic, because until this moment of clarity, I (and probably everyone else who’s close to me) have viewed myself as pretty damn confrontational. I mean, if you over charge me for fixing my vehicle or call my cell phone to solicit money, I will voice my displeasure. If you ask me to analyze your relationship or evaluate whether those pants are too tight or tell you whether you acted like an ass last night because you had far too much to drink, I will most likely tell you the truth.
My friends know this.
I’m the girl they go to when they simply just need to hear the truth. (Or at least the truth as I see it.)
I will even confront my own issues, whether it’s mentally, through friends, or via this blog, but I realized something today: When it comes to actually acting on said issues — when I have to make a decision and choose a move — I’m all about the tuck-and-roll.
I avoid that punch like a Connecticut prep school boy avoids hippy chicks from NoCal — it might be dangerously exciting to dabble on occasion, but any type of serious commitment is pretty much out of the question.
Otherwise I won’t get my trust fund.
Except I don’t have a trust fund.
Which is kind of another bummer in itself.
Where was I?
Oh, yes. What I realized today, especially after my whiny little self-pity session from yesterday, is that it’s easy for me to analyze and discuss and churn possibilities and outcomes through my head, but the sad little truth is that nothing will actually start happening unless I commit to a move.
Which I pretty much never do.
At least not long-term.
So while I can declare that I’m about to make a change, like I have many times on this blog, I’m quickly learning that saying and doing are two completely different things.
One thing I’ve learned from my husband’s unhealthy affinity for all things Star Wars, is that the Yoda character — if you can mentally move beyond the strange way he mixes up sentence structure — is a wise, wise man.
Elf?
Midget with weird raptor feet?
Whatever he is, he dispenses this little face-slap of eloquent truth:
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
It’s hard to argue with that.
The problem is I have all kinds of excuses: Trip to Costa Rica, finishing house projects, trip to Spain, planning a baby shower party, making a gift for our Spain hosts, writing the blog, figuring out what to make for dinner, doing favors for friends, getting the house ready for a visitor who will be arriving in approximately 5 hours whose imminent arrival I learned about 6 hours ago, etc.
And there will always be excuses. The trick is going to be learning the self-discipline it takes to move beyond them.
My friend (and family member) Anna gave me some fantastic advice in the comments yesterday (among other peoples’ fantastic comments) that she learned from a writer’s workshop:
1. Get out of your own way.
2. Begin Anywhere (John Cage)
So these things I intend to do.
Pitches, here I come!
(As soon as I finish making dinner tonight and finish my resume for a “filler” job and clean the sheets in the guest bedroom and make the decorations for the baby party and vacuum and clean the guest bathroom and finish 2 handmade gifts for 2 different people and give myself a pedicure.)
Comments
I understand your dilemma. I can be assertive when I need to but tend to procrastinate when it comes to practical things that have to be done. What to do?
I thought you were supposed to answer that – I just pose the questions. ;) (If you figure it out, please let me know!)
No pedicures or cleaning! Your toes can be a bit gnarly, and your guests don’t need a spotless bathroom.(always use the cocktail at the door trick) Start on those pitches. Dr.’s orders. Okay, I’m not a doc, and I don’t play one on tv, but it sounds so much more official, than Tipsy housewife’s orders.
Well the pedicure is for me – I NEED it. ;) But of course, I put it off anyway…
Your cocktail-at-the-door trick worked like a charm. Although, it was just my sister coming last minute, so I didn’t stress too much since she just messes all my stuff up anyway.
Oh, and I cracked up at “tipsy housewife’s orders – if THOSE were effective, I’d be Boss of the World right now. ;)
A star wars reference on your blog. That’s got to be close to sexual favors for Justin
HAhahaha… he’s quite proud I’ve gotten something out of the movies.
I think it’s matter of immediacy. Tasks where we perceive the completion/reward to be immediate are easy to get started on. Tasks where we perceive the rewards to be far off don’t strike our inner psyche as important, even when we raitionally know they are. That’s why we procrastinated.
The solution is either to break big tasks up into smaller segments, or really consciously reinforce why we’re doing something. Writing is a perfect example: with your blog, you feel an immediate reward when you publish. But with pitching to actual publications, your animal brain can’t fathom where the reward for that is going to be. So, you have to use your higher brain to convince your animal brain otherwise.
Hope that helps. :-)
I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure you just called me a big, dumb animal. I can’t be sure because, even when I tap into my “higher brain,” it’s apparently not as high as yours. ;)
Kind of unrelated, but do you ever wonder how long after we all left that our plants died (or became MORE dead in Erin’s case) and everyone forgot about us? Hahaha!! Amen to the truth – I truly appreciated our conversations, especially over vino. So thank you!
PS- They have wine in AL too you know… you should see for yourself! :)
Haha, I didn’t have any plants because they pretty much commit suicide while I’M taking care of them. I don’t think anyone forgot about us – we had the best boobs in the building. ;)
I miss our conversations!! It makes SO much more sense for you to come visit here – then we can have a margarita reunion with everyone. :))