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It’s SAD, but true.

It’s happening again.

Every year, when the telltale signs of inevitable changes start appearing outside of my window — the deceptively warm-colored leaves trying their damnedest to pull a hood over my eyes to distract me from the dull winter browns and grays to come — when it seems like everyone else is excited about holiday shopping and knit sweaters and roasting chestnuts (do any of you actually roast chestnuts?), I get SAD.

I do.

Don’t let the beauty of these trees deceive you.  They serve to tell tales of menacing things to come.

In fact, the only thing I really like about this time of year is the smell and taste of mulled cider.  If I could sit in front of an infinitely fueled fireplace with a never-ending cup of mulled cider and the superpower of not needing to pee for 4 months (which would require stepping onto the cold, tile bathroom floors), there is a possibility I could remain content throughout the winter.

But probably not, because there’s only so much perfection one can take before it gets old, you know?

Like an awesome apple pie with vanilla ice cream.  I love it, but could I eat the whole pie in one sitting?

I think not.

So 4 months of this is a little excessive.  If winter lasted a week, maybe we’d have a better relationship.

But it doesn’t, so I get SAD.

Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Yes, I diagnosed myself.

Yes, I do this a lot.

Yes, I’ve sought professional help.  It didn’t go well.

Normally, I am a morning person.  I willingly get up at 6:45 — maybe 7:00 or 7:30 on the weekends — just to have my coffee, do some morning reading, and maybe write a blog post, all before showering and heading to work.  (When you’re dependent on coffee, like me, you don’t drink it — you have it.  Like it’s a part of you.  Is that wrong?)

However, come the chilly months, I just don’t want to get out of bed.  Like… at all.  And not just because stepping outside of the warm covers means my body temperature will instantly drop 20 degrees, and not just because it’s still dark outside, but simply because I don’t want to face the day.

Seriously?

How SAD is that?

It’s like one of those horrible depression commercials where they talk about it physically hurting (and sometimes it does), except I know what is happening and why it is happening, which, I think, somehow makes it a little less depressing.

Because I know it won’t last forever.

Which is good, but not good enough to make it go away.

So, like last year, I’m taking a bit of a reprieve.

It’s time, once again, for the beautiful people of Miami to squint — not against the ever-present God of the Sun, but against the phenomenon of my blindingly pasty skin, pure and white as the freshly fallen snow.  Well, maybe snow that’s been sitting for a day and has a light coating of freckled sand from the trucks that stop the streets from getting slippery, if we’re going to be honest.

And you know we’re nothing if not honest here.

This year will be different, though.  Interesting.

See, this is going to be a reunion of sorts, which is exceedingly rare for this brokedown family.  My little sister Kelly, who lives in Fort Lauderdale, is not only going to be hosting me for Thanksgiving, but we are also cooking for our mother on her first trip to the Sunshine State since my sister took up residency, and our brother, whom Justin and I recently visited in Cleveland.

The last time the 4 of us were together was about 4 years ago, when we decided to visit Kelly when she was living in Savannah, Georgia.  So apparently, if we want to continue having these little get-togethers, my little sister needs to keep moving.

Joel will be getting a hotel room after the first night, which is why we usually refer to him as the intelligent sibling.  Because with my mom, sister, and myself holed up in a tiny apartment for an extended amount of time, there’s no telling what might happen.

It could be a really interesting study for any burgeoning sociologists out there.

Anyone?

No?

You’re right — it’s best to stay away from a lit fuse.  Which is why we decided Justin should stay behind, as should Ed, my mother’s significant other.  (Really, the reasons were more financial than anything else, and while it’s weird for Justin and me to spend this holiday apart, we figure we’ll make up for it by spending Christmas together.  You know — fires and chestnuts and all that jazz.)

What’s even more exciting is that I’m getting a road trip out of the deal.  Yep, the Tracker and I are headed south for part of the winter, and we couldn’t be happier.

I just wish I had a little more time to do some exploring, but maybe I can still cook something up for the arrival of spring.  Because nothing is better than celebrating the return of warmth, sunshine, and — you guessed it — my sanity.

Katie

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Comments

Penny Mannel
Reply

I have witnesses – they heard it here: “we are also cooking for our mother on her first trip to the Sunshine State”. I am bringing my Nook, loaded with everything I’ve been meaning to read but never have the time, and I’m going to sit there, read and sip wine, once in a while throwing in a “Is it ready yet?”

Finally I get to experience one of the good things about growing older!

Katie
Reply

No way — you’re gonna sit out by the POOL so you can’t pester us with your incessant questions. ;)

kristeen
Reply

A Christmas roadtrip to WI? You and Justin should venture this way :0) Please…..its been to long.
And I am pretty sure I get SAD too. Must run in the fam!

Katie
Reply

Haha, see — “road” and “trip” don’t compute when it comes to driving to Wisconsin in winter!! :) I miss you though! Maybe you guys should head south!

Jamie
Reply

Great post. There are countless numbers of people out there who suffer from SAD annually. Most dont even know they have it. Its amazing to think that depression is the second most dibilitating illness in north america with an estimated 1 in 5 people having it most not even knowing it!!

Hang in there! When you hit rock bottom of the emotional roller coaster the only way to go is up! With a few zaps to you brain along the way of course…

If it makes you feel any better at all I live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and we just got about a foot and half of snow, the roads are brutal and its about -37 celsius with the wind chill. Oh shit! That reminds me I forgot to plug my car in…

Katie
Reply

Haha Jamie, that does NOT make me feel better. It just makes me feel bad for you!! ;)

Dennis Hong
Reply

This is why everyone in Southern California is a sack of happiness. Really. :-p

Hey, when will you be in Fort Lauderdale? I’m in Miami until Tuesday afternoon….

Katie
Reply

And that is why I’m convinced I belong in California. With money. Lots of money.

I seriously can’t believe you’re leaving right when I arrive…

Dennis Hong
Reply

Yeah, no kidding. Had I known a month ago, I probably could’ve extended my stay until Wednesday. :-(

laxsupermom
Reply

My brother gets SAD. He got one of those lamp things for over his side of the bed. I no longer get I-want-to-stick-my-head-in-the-oven phone calls. You should try one.

Road trip to Florida for some family time sounds fun! We’re traveling this year, too.

Katie
Reply

Hmm maybe I should get myself one of those daylight lamps. Or just move to Florida. :)

NovaBlast
Reply

Winter is NOT my favorite season. Hope you have a great trip!

Katie
Reply

Ditto THAT. And thank you, I think I will. :)

Matthew
Reply

That is one thing I enjoyed about winters in LA. Everyone else was cold and I was eating it up…because it was nowhere near as bad as it got in Nebraska.

Katie
Reply

Yes! Southern California is where it’s at.

myonepreciouslife
Reply

You are not alone on this one. Winter is painfully depressing and it makes it hard to face the world. A good pair of slippers might help with the getting out of bed and onto tile though.

Have fun in Miami!

Katie
Reply

You’re right — I definitely need some good, squishy slippers. That would make winter a bit more tolerable. :)

Rachel
Reply

Just wanted to say that I hope you have a great roadtrip and Thanksgiving. And I agree, winter is a bit sad… just try to bottle the sunshine down in Miami to get you through to the spring, haha.

Safe travels and have lots of fun!
Rachel

Katie
Reply

I wish I could bottle it!! It’ll be hard to go back to the cool weather, but I’m about ready to go home. :)

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