Okay.  To those of you thinking of building yourselves a closet organizer made of plumbing pipes, because people do that all of the time, I have one piece of advice for you:

Don’t.

It’s only 8:30 in the morning, and already I’ve used up my math cache for the entire week.

Yep.  See, I only have a limited cache of math skills.  It’s so limited, in fact, that I’m forced to dole out math-related problem solving brain cells in carefully regimented quantities throughout the week so that I don’t run out before they have a chance to replenish.

And this project is using them all.

Even if you’re great at math, I would still not advise you to take on this project, unless you want Home Depot employees to run screaming for the exits every time you enter the store out of fear that you ask one of them to spend 2 hours — two hours! — custom cutting and threading galvanized pipe to your specifications in order to save a little moolah.

Obviously, I’m not above that.

And I’m going back today.

Crap.

I probably shouldn’t publicly warn them on the internet.

Because I’m sure they read this blog, just to see if the crazy woman with graph paper and an extensive plumbing fitting vocabulary plans on coming back.

That’s right — due to my extensive research, I can talk flanges and elbows and tee fittings and nipples with the best of ’em.

I can even say “nipples” to a male Home Depot employee named Kelly without cracking a smile.

I’m that good.

So.

My point?

Unless you have beyond stellar math and 3-dimensional planning skills and an extensive knowledge of pipe fittings and absolutely no fear of possible retaliation from disgruntled Home Depot employees, you probably don’t want to make a closet organizer from plumbing pipes.

But if you do, I’ll have the instructions for you eventually.

Unless the HD peeps slash my tires and start sending threats to my family.

Wish me luck.