Have you ever felt like you have a million things to write about but no way to write them?
I have all of these things to tell you, but I feel like I lost my voice. The words aren’t there.
Well, I have some words, but they aren’t witty or thoughtful or seductive in any way.
What? They aren’t normally?
Well, crap.
Let me just tell you about the lovely little pottery festival I attended this weekend, otherwise known as “pay $10 to get sloshed on wine samples then $5 to walk around trying not to break any handcrafted pottery and then head back to the wine tent when you realize you never really wanted any pottery to begin with – you just wanted to drink the wine and listen to the music, which, you realize, is even more fun when you’re not the one serving the drinks.”
Now that I think about it, that pretty much sums it up. So thanks, Danielle, for the awesome time!
I didn’t buy any pottery, but I did get some fantastic local honey, some seasoning stuff, a bottle of chardonnay, and this:
It combines my desire for a globe and my need for a place to store keepsake wine corks in one, fun-filled piece of kitsch.
Yes, we all know how I feel about buying crap just to have it – I normally stick to art and photographs since not only do they look nice, but they evoke memories and emotions, but c’mon people – it’s a globe and a cork holder.
It’s like it was made for me.
Sorry for the blur. Apparently I can’t take photos and drink orange juice at the same time.
It’s something I despise but, much to my shock and dismay, is pretty much a must-do for homeowners.
That’s right – yard work.
*shudder*
We actually have quite a bit we “should” do in both the front and back yards to make this place more presentable for resale, but when I start to think about the stagnant pond we need to take out, the grass we need to plant, the holes we need to fill in, and the termite-infested garden bed we need to demolish, I find myself fighting the intense urge to crawl back under the covers and not emerge until September.
And, considering I love summer, that simply won’t do.
So?
Baby steps.
Just like everything else.
Last weekend, Justin removed this random trellis sticking out into our back yard off the side of the house which the previous owners had stuck there to support the equally random rose bush vine thingy that’s full of thorns that will claw at you every time you enter the back yard through the fence gate or back garage door, which lie on either side of the trellis. Oh, yeah – he took the rose bush out, too.
I didn’t cry.
Here’s a photo I snapped of the trellis on Closing Day*. The owners must have installed it just before we moved in, because it took virtually no time for the thing to start warping and the paint to peel and virtually start looking like a big ol’ catastrophe:
The “bed” for the bush had been loosely lined with some leftover bricks they’d used for the back patio, so yesterday I dug those out and decided to beautify our mailbox.
I forgot to take a “before” photo, but the mailbox was basically a naked post surrounded by spiny weeds and gravely dirt and over all just looked unkempt. We recently replaced the “box” part of the mailbox for around $11 because the old one was falling apart, but I wanted to use those leftover bricks and some cheap-o flowers we bought on our recent trip to Big Bloomers to finish the whole thing off.
Because – you know – making stuff look pretty is what we do in the ‘burbs.
Forgive the crazy lighting in these photos. The sun this morning is already pretty intense.
Turns out this, like so many other projects I start, was a bit more difficult than I’d originally bargained.
For starters, the ground at the base of the mailbox was not level. Not by a long shot. So if I’d simply laid the bricks around it, there would’ve been several holes and it would have looked like a 2-year-old decided to stack some blocks around my mailbox and never put them away.
So, after hauling bricks from the back yard to the front, I dug. I used a tiny little garden trowel and dug through rocky soil, roots, grubs, and spider carcases (I kid you not) to have a relatively flat surface on which to build my little brick wall. I’d sufficiently basted my skin with a fine layer of sweat and a flour coating of dirt and grime by the time I finished what I thought would be a five-minute project.
Of course, it wasn’t until after I finished the project and wasn’t completely satisfied with the overall stability/levelness that my neighbor told me I should have used a rubber mallet to completely level the bottom layer.
Oh well – I’ll fix it when this one falls apart.
Overall, I’m still fairly happy with how it turned out:
It’s definitely not perfect, but neither are the bricks. And for that matter, neither am I.
And any time my inner perfectionist is annoyed at the slight misalignment and unequal brick sizes, I’ll remind myself of one, indisputable fact that makes everything seem okay:
It’s just a mailbox.
*I just this minute realized that tomorrow (4/20, baby) is our 4 YEAR Anniversary of owning this house. Holy crap, where does the time go? I guess that trellis didn’t deteriorate as quickly as I’d thought…
So instead of all that, we decided to try berries this year: strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries.
It’s gonna be a summer of smoothies if all goes well.
As I was meandering through a maze of garden statues at Big Bloomers, I was fascinated by all of the crap people actually buy just to stick in their lawns.
(No offense if you are one of these people, although I’m not sure how what I just said could not offend you, but the fact that I just said, “no offense” should automatically retract any offense that may have been delivered. Right?)
Okay, so they’re not all bad.
Like these guys. They’re kinda cute, right? Kinda portly and cheerful and okay they do make me smile just a little and they’re so adorable I just wanna squeeze the bacon right out of them.
Then eat it.
Okay, maybe they look a little scared – not cheerful.
But what can I say? I like bacon.
And okay, I can see where something like this might look kind of cool, if… you know… you live in the desert and want people to think large animals just keel over and die in your lawn and you leave them to rot until there’s nothing left but bone – a scattering of skeletal remains, warning all of the cute little bunnies and squirrels that they best not trespass on your yard, bitches, because you. could. be. next.
And giant cowboy boots? Really?
I hate to break it to you, Big Bloomers, but North Carolina is not the last frontier.
Now this one could be kind of fun. I could see myself buying this if I had kids and hiding it in a pile of leaves and then laughing hysterically when it scares the crap out of them.
OMG, I’ve always wanted a rooster dressed like Charles Dickens posing like he’s giving the famous soliloquy in Hamlet while balancing a basket on his comb in which birds can bathe!
This last one probably had me the most confused, I’ll admit.
I mean… wtf happened to its head?
Yeah… I’m going to put that in my yard because that’s realistic.
A couple of weeks ago I informed you that my friend Alaina and I were planning a day trip to Charlotte to hit up that wonder of all superstores, IKEA, for the latest in ready-to-assemble Swedish decor for her nursery and my office.
We were going to go later this week, but since her husband was planning to come over to my house to play with my husband last Saturday (wait – that doesn’t sound right, does it?), we decided to go then.
That way I wouldn’t be here to witness them do this to my walls:
Now. If you’ve never been to an IKEA before, there are a few things you should know:
1. Preparation – especially if you don’t live close enough to run back to the store when you realize you forgot something – is key. That means searching online ahead of time for things you might want, writing them down, taking measurements in your home, writing those down, and then checking the availability of those items at the store you plan on visiting. I might have forgotten that last part.
2. IKEA is BIG. They have it set up so that you follow these arrows that direct you through the upper level of the store, meandering through a giant maze of show rooms and displays, oohing and ahhing at the cheap prices and simplistic designs and jotting down crazy names of things like “Ekby” and “Kivik” and “Klubbo” so that, when you get downstairs to where they actually have all the stuff for you to put in your cart, you’ve already seen what it looks like set up in a room. The problem? If you walk past something you wanted without realizing it, you might have to trek about 1.8 miles each way to go get it. Wear sneakers, is all I’m sayin’.
3. They have a kiddie play area where you basically sign your kids off to play while you shop and I’m pretty sure it’s genius and designed more for childless people like me than actual parents, but who cares because the kids are corralled in one place away from the rest of us real people and stop pretending to judge me because you know I have a point.
4. Things aren’t always as cheap as you think. Sure, that pretty print might look chic and affordable hanging in the showroom in its shiny silver frame, but looks can be deceiving. You might not notice that there are two tags hanging from the picture – one for the print itself, and another for the frame. And you like those library bookshelves with the glass doors whose price seems too good to be true? That’s because you’re looking at the tag for just the top part of the shelf. The bottom half and cabinet doors cost extra, just so you know. In all fairness, you can usually find the price of an entire unit listed, but if you’re a newbie shopper there, just be careful to read the tag so you know what you’re pricing and what you’re buying. You’d hate to get something home, put it together, and then realize you didn’t actually buy everything you wanted.
5. With the exception of their kitchens, the majority of IKEA items tend to look a lot better online than they do in person, in my humble little opinion. But hey – it’s ready-to-assemble furniture, people. That means everything you buy – whether it’s a sectional sofa or a wall of bookshelves – comes in flat (albeit heavy) boxes just perfect for a brawny girl like me to drag into the back of the Tracker by herself because her friend is pregnant and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anything happen to the little kumquat.
And you don’t want to mess with these.
Side note: Back in the day, Alaina and her husband (then boyfriend) Dirk bought all of his bedroom furniture from IKEA and enticed their friends over to help put it together under the guise of a party. Approximately 6 hours and countless beers later, I was the last man standing.
And the furniture was assembled.
And it hasn’t fallen apart.
Yet.
In all seriousness though, a truly gifted shopper like Alaina can emerge from IKEA happy, alive, and with the makings of a simply beautiful room. Even the dresser she bought for the nursery had far superior glides to much of IKEA’s other bedroom furniture, and Alaina had the uncanny ability to breeze through the labyrinth, stocking her cart with a piece of fabric here, a lamp there, and knowing her, everything will fit together perfectly in the end.
Just don’t expect it to be as inexpensive as you thought.
Truly ungifted shoppers like me, on the other hand, tend to have problems in a place like this. For one, there’s too much pressure. There were too many choices and I couldn’t make up my mind and half the time I’d end up running back across the entire store just to get a sieve I missed back in housewares and where did you get that plant, Alaina because I want one, and crap I have to run back to home organization again because I forgot the hook thingies for my hanging thingies and WHAT?! They are out of my shelf brackets? You have got to be f*cking kidding me and will someone please just take me out to the parking lot, dose me up with tranquilizers, and shoot me now?
In case you haven’t guessed, I don’t really like shopping.
These are the things I wanted to get at IKEA:
File cabinet
Shelf brackets
Storage boxes
Desk chair
Hanging organizers
These are the things I did get at IKEA:
Storage boxes
Hanging organizers
Fake plant
Kitchen sieve and funnels
Candle
These are the things I wish I’d bought at IKEA but I’d already purchased them somewhere else:
Blinds (IKEA has nice, inexpensive faux wood blinds, but I’d already bought wood-looking aluminum blinds at Target that the dogs have already messed up.)
Wooden hangars (I just bought what I thought were pretty inexpensive wooden hangars at Bed, Bath and Beyond for the closet makeover, but IKEA’s looked better and were even cheaper.)
In person, the file cabinet I thought I wanted just looked flimsy and unsubstantial, and they were out of my shelf brackets. OUT.
I have to say, the best part of the day by far was the plate of Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, and lingonberry sauce served cafeteria style for like $4. To a pregnant chick and a girl who still had to drive another 2 1/2 hours on pitch black, tree-lined, winding roads in the rain just to get us home, it was pure heaven.
I would’ve taken a picture, but they were literally gone in about 4.8 seconds. My phone doesn’t work that fast.
At the end of the day, this meager pile is my total haul (before the storage boxes have been assembled):
My indecisiveness, lack of design skills, and just plain ol’ crappy luck were no match for IKEA’s wiley ways.
So. After 2 1/2 hours driving to get there, and approximately 3 hours and 11.72 miles of walking through the store, and a stressful, stormy, 2 1/2 hour drive home, I felt deflated. Alaina, who spent about 10 times more than me because she has a job and a design plan and the ability to make actual decisions, felt elated.
It was totally worth the trip.
But I have to say, before you make the trek to your not-so-local IKEA, you might want to figure out which one of us is you.
Okay, I have yesterday’s promised closet makeover pictures for you. I apologize that this is pretty anticlimactic because, while I’m thrilled with the new sense of peace and organization this brings me, in the end, it’s still just a closet.
Except now it’s clean and painted and oh yeah there’s no taffy stuck to the inside wall covered with scotch tape.
Don’t ask.
Before:
After (empty):
All of the scratches and general dinginess have been smoothed out and painted over. Justin hung the new shelf using some old 2×4’s we had in the garage, and I primed and painted them to match the shelf.
The really inexpensive hangars are from Bed, Bath and Beyond:
And both types of bronze hooks are from Target:
By hanging the hooks, taking out a few of the winter coats (umm, Katie? Do you really need 4 winter coats hanging in a main hall closet in North Carolina for 4 years?), digging out some storage baskets I had hiding in another closet, and throwing out some of the junk, I was actually able to fit more stuff in here.
The dog leashes and car harnesses came in from the garage, Justin’s baseball hats finally came down from the top of the television in the bedroom, and everything is now much more accessible.
We can even still fit the vacuum in there, and we have some extra space for guest coats. Apparently people appreciate that as opposed to flinging them over the back of a dog-hair covered sofa.
Go figure.
In the end, it really was worth the hassle.
Even though it might not look much different to you, cleaning out this closet helped clean me out a little, too.
Not in a literal enema sort of way, but in a figurative mind clutter sort of way.
Getting rid of crap you don’t need – both physically and mentally – is therapeutic.
Who knew you could get so much from a tiny little closet?
I can’t wait to see what happens when I move on to the walk-in…
This really isn’t intended to be a self-deprecating post. Not at all.
And no, it’s not about Justin.
The intention is to show you that even though I always claim to not be perfect, I really. am. NOT. perfect.
So today I’m pulling back the velvet curtain I’ve draped in front of the not-so-attractive aspects of our home to reveal the trembling, scatterbrained, decrepit old man who’s desperately been trying to pose as a Cosmopolitan cover girl for the past 4 years.
Then I discovered over the winter while meandering around the yard (okay, I was picking up doggie doo) that yes, it most definitely was infested with termites.
FAIL. The seedy little buggers were smart enough to destroy the back of the raised bed where it couldn’t easily be noticed.
And remember that landscape bed we “made over” in the front of the house? Yeah… well 2 different plant species later, the mulch still looks decent and is relatively weed-free, but the bed is also live plant free, and that’s just not right:
FAIL. I’m telling you, I can’t keep plants alive to save my life. Someone HELP me!
Here’s the porch railing that desperately needs to be painted:
FAIL. We seem to have forgotten that things that don’t necessarily start out as problems in a “fixer-upper” can still turn into problems if you’re remiss in regular upkeep.
And here’s the drywall patches we messed up in the living room:
MAJOR FAIL. That was one of the first projects we did in this place, and let’s just say our naivety shows. In fact, the entire color scheme of that room is jacked. It’s getting re-painted this summer. With FLAT paint – not high gloss.
Oh, and this reminds me, the trim still needs painting, too.
Anyway. My point here is not just to show you how disgustingly negligent we are when it comes to our house, but to admit just how difficult it can be to finish projects, maintain regular upkeep, clean, repair, and still find time to live in and enjoy the space.
It’s not fun pulling back this curtain to reveal all of our blunders and admit that maybe we were in over our heads a little bit when we bought a “fixer upper.” It’s not fun to admit that we don’t have it together like so many other home owners (and bloggers) with their perfect green grass and crisp front porches and hole-less floors. It’s not fun to admit that maybe I’m just not cut out for the ‘burbs.
Or maybe the ‘burbs weren’t cut out for me.
And this is where my particular brand of Domestiphobia comes into play.
I want to have a nice home, where I don’t have to feel embarrassed about holes in the carpet or cobwebs on the front porch or missing shoe molding in the laundry room. But at the same time, I don’t really care. Not that much. I know these things need to get done, but my priorities for my limited attention span tend to get focused elsewhere.
Like food.
Or travel.
Or writing.
Or photography.
Or wine.
So I’ve decided I need to set weekly goals, so I can ensure that these little projects that add up to one big headache eventually get done. I’ll announce this coming week’s goal on Monday.
Because a home shouldn’t be the source of constant headaches, you know? It should be a place full of sunshine and warmth.
And ethereal coffee.
A place where you can kick up your shoe-riddled feet, sip your vodka-laced lemonade, and honestly attest that life is, in fact, really really good.
In the spirit of sharing, are there any projects – home-related or otherwise – that you’ve been putting off because it just doesn’t interest you? Sometimes saying typing it out loud can help, because putting something in writing makes it a lot harder to ignore.
We really haven’t been doing a lot around the house lately.
And, I’m ashamed to admit, the closet (which admittedly had more to do with putting off other things I should have been doing than actually making a closet look nice) isn’t even done yet. But almost.
I promise.
Sort of.
My avoidance of all topics home related is most definitely not because everything is finished. I could share a list of the things we still need to do before we could ever hope to sell this place, but then I’d probably start crying and my tear-soaked keyboard would malfunction and I’d have to add to the list yet another piece of electronic equipment that’s crapped out because it can’t handle being around me and my hormones.
By the way, I love the fact that being a woman allows me to blame all irrational behavior on hormones.
What? You think it was immature to throw my POS cell phone across the room? Well it was the hormones, bitches!
What? You think I made the waiter feel bad because I cried when he told me they’re out of tiramisu? Well don’t blame me – it’s the hormones!
Love it.
Anyway.
Like I was saying, the fact that we haven’t been working on house projects has nothing to do with the fact that we’re done. Far from it. It’s just that with Justin working his butt off to get promoted (and coincidentally inviting me, of all people, to fancy events) and me gallivanting off to exotic places like Costa Rica, Miami, and Nebraska, (okay, they can’t all be winners), we just really haven’t had the time. Or the money. Oh, and my whole quitting my job to “find myself” and make a huge career change thing is actually fairly time consuming too. And I’m talking about writing – not waiting tables.
But I thought you should know that I’ve finally taken another step towards completing the office. That photo you saw of the paint job above is the room in its interim phase. I was just taking a breather before moving on to the next step.
And what is the next step, you might ask?
Organization, organization, organization.
Oh, and I want it to be pretty.
The overall mental plan for the room is to build a new work surface, create a wall of shelving and storage, and paint the existing bookshelves. If I can find a deal, I might replace the ugly fan with a new light fixture. I’m working on a very strict budget here, so the goal is to make this as comfortable and functional of a workspace as I can (since I will mainly be working from home), without spending more money than I’ll be making in a year.
This means we’re getting rid of the two cheap-o desks that were given to us out of pity by another Airman when we moved into our very first shoddy apartment and had only a bed frame with mattress, an old trunk (used as a coffee table), and an entertainment center to our names. (Yes, we knew what was important.)
Seriously. We didn’t even have a couch.
So those old desks will either go on Craigslist or we’ll donate them to some other poor military person just starting out. (Have fun with that, friend! The debt-less road to materialism is a long one.)
The tentative plan in my head is to jerry-rig a new L-shaped desk into a corner of the room. The long branch of the “L” will be constructed using filing cabinets (I will need lots of file storage) and some type of narrow-yet-long table top component. As you can tell, this part is yet-to-be determined.
It looks almost exactly like this desk from West Elm, but at just over $150 including tax and shipping, the Overstock version is less than half the price:
The shallow drawers will be perfect for some pens, a couple of notepads, and some of the electronic-y type computer equipment (DVD drive, external hard drive, etc.) that doesn’t need to stay out all of the time.
Not a bad deal, huh? Although West Elm does have an awesome mirror version of this desk that I think would look pretty damn sweet in the office. But, at $599, it’s just a little out of my budget. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t come with a maid who will stand next to it all day to wipe off my fingerprints and tell me to get back to work when I distract myself by squeezing pimples and checking for food in my teeth in its reflective surface.
Plus, I hate to think of all the bad luck I’d have when I crack one of the mirrors by throwing my cell phone too hard across the room.
So now I can start taking pictures like this again:
And this:
And even this:
It feels a little like my arm fell off five months ago and the doctors were just now able to sew it back on.
Exhilarating.
In other news, I took this little style quiz that I found over on YHL because, as much as I hate spending money on decor, I still like to fish around the web every now and then for ideas of what I’d like if I did enjoy spending money on decor.
I’m doubting there’s any merit to the quiz results, considering they’re based on picking the most appealing images from some random photos. I mean, what’s with the one with the hats? But the whole thing takes about 30 seconds to complete, so if you’re bored, I just found a way for you to kill 30 seconds.
You’re welcome.
I went around picking photos like this one:
And this one:
My result? Swank Aesthete.
My reaction? WTF is that?
At best, it sounds like some debilitating foot fungus. At worst, it makes me sound snooty and shallow.
But then I read the description, and I have to say… I kinda like it.
“Cozy… not oversized – a hand crafted gem.” Yes, please! A craftsman bungalow would be my dream home.
Photo by Nate, at MyTravelMap.wordpress.com depicts a hand-built home in the town of Cuyin Manzano, Patagonia Argentina.*
The quiz results also stated that I’m “Blown away by the handcrafted nature of art,” and that couldn’t be more spot-on. Whether it’s music, photography, painting, or architecture – when someone takes the time to create something beautiful, I take the time to see it.
(Click photo for link to artist's website)
But then the results get a little… confusing.
“…you enjoy your niceties. A cool refreshing drink – and often more than one!”
Now what is that supposed to mean? Okay so it’s true, but that doesn’t mean I want some know-it-all style quiz rubbing it in my face.
I mean, it might as well be saying, Why don’t you go ahead and pour a little more bourbon into your morning coffee, Alchie?
Talk about judgmental.
Moving on.
The quiz redeemed itself at the end. Immensely.
Apparently, because the quiz knows all, I have the same style as Cate Blanchet, Ingrid Bergman, and Johnny Depp!
So basically, this means I could share a home with Johnny Depp and we totally wouldn’t argue about aesthetic or design because we have the same taste. And we could afford a pre-war apartment on the upper-east side (which the quiz thinks I want) because, come on, I’d live with Johnny Depp. Although I’m thinking he might prefer Paris.
Oh, and I made something good last night. Really good. And it was unfortunate because I mis-timed the recipe, which left me approximately 1.4 minutes to inhale a steaming plate of it before running off to work, resulting in burning the top layer of taste buds off of my tongue.
But it was so worth it.
Stay tuned…
*Nate, as per usual, I did not ask permission to steal another blogger’s photo because I didn’t know I’d be posting it until just now. Don’t hesitate to let me know if you’d like me to remove it!
Well, it’s finally here. The post we’ve all been waiting for.
No, I’m not showing you a picture of my awesome abs.
It’s not because I’m shy. And it’s definitely not because they’re not there. Oh, they’re there. It’s just that they’re hiding behind a small layer of leftover holiday pudge. I’m sure they’ll come out when they’re ready.
Well. I finally – finally have photos of the end result.
And let me just tell you – it was well worth the wait.
“A” and her husband Dirk gutted their dated, boxy kitchen (cabinets, floors – even some walls!) and completely transformed the main level of their house.
In case you missed them, here are the series of posts that take us through some of the more painful aspects of a full kitchen remodel:
And if you want to see other kitchen related posts, you can read through the mess we created in our own much smaller and budget constrained kitchen renovation, including layout planning advice, how to choose the right appliances, and even a step-by-step guide to tiling your own backsplash, right here.
But now on to the good stuff.
Don’t mind the phrase, but I’m just going to start with the “money shot” because that’s what you all came to see. Then we’ll follow up with some details. Okay? Okay.
Before:
After:
Ummm…. WOW. Even with the darker cabinetry and counter tops, the entire room is much brighter thanks to some strategic wall removal and an additional window behind the sink.
Back in the pre-kitchen remodel “dark days,” this lovely wall used to greet you when you looked into A’s living room from her front door:
Unfortunately, this is a load-bearing wall. So it couldn’t come down completely. But, with the help of a contractor, they were able to remove a portion of the wall to create a breakfast bar and pass-through, and, most important, stunning views of the lake right when you walk in through the front door.
Here it is mid-reno:
That small change really opened up the main floor. Alaina and Justin are standing in what used to be their tiny, closed-in kitchen.
Here’s how it looks today:
*The brackets under the bar will soon be fixed by the granite installers and that wall will get re-painted.
They also removed the wall that divided the breakfast area from the main part of the kitchen, creating an eat-in kitchen (they already have a separate dining room).
Here it was before:
And here it is right after they removed the wall surrounding that open doorway:
And here it is today!
Beautiful, no? And that’s not all. We still have a special treat. You might be noticing that there doesn’t seem to be a lot of space in the way of wall cabinet storage and food storage (that “room” to the right of the refrigerator is actually a utility room – not a pantry).
But no worries – See that doorway to the right of the microwave cabinet? What used to be a narrow hallway that held their washer and dryer and leads to their office has now been transformed into a stunning “butler’s pantry”:
On the wall to the right, Alaina created a “message center” with a calendar, dry-erase board, and place to display photographs:
On the other side are two large pantries for food and small appliance storage, as well as a sink and a space for a future wine cooler:
I have to say, I’m pretty much in love with this new space.
From the stunning granite, to the custom cabinets – it looks as though this kitchen has always been there. And that old monstrosity with the cheap white cabinets, worn linoleum flooring, and psychedelic backsplash tiles is but a bad dream.
Though it is kind of fun watching the confused looks on my dogs’ faces as they slip and slide across the yard.
When I assess the gray skies, icy roads, and pine tree boughs drooping under the weight of ice and snow, I come to 2 conclusions:
1) Global climate change is not a myth, and
2) I’m not leaving the house. Ever. Again. (Unless someone wants to buy me a pair of snow pants, long johns, mittens, a scarf, and a hat. I’ve somehow managed to purge these items from my wardrobe since my days of living in Minnesota, which is a bummer because I think the only fun thing to do in this weather is find a proper hill and go sledding, but that’s only if you own snow pants and have access to a warm mug of hot chocolate when you get home. And I just so happen to have a little something called Snickerdoodle hot chocolate. And if you ever visit me, I might just share some with you.)
It’s days like these when I wish I’d thought ahead about other home projects that we’ll need to finish before we can ever hope to sell this place. Like painting.
Is it one of those mundane DIY home projects that seems pretty self-explanatory and this is a complete waste of my time?
Well, it might be because I have this insane habit of complicating things and a fear of making concrete decisions, but in my experience, painting a room always turns more laborious and time-consuming than I originally presume. But I have improved significantly over the past few years, and now I can knock out an average size room by myself during a long afternoon.
First, the tools. To paint a room in your home, you will need:
Paint – Have an idea of the room dimensions when you go to the paint store. The clerk will be able to tell you how many gallons you need to cover around 2 coats of paint. I honestly don’t really have a preference when it comes to brand, but keep in mind that almost any paint color can be matched to almost any paint brand. You will also need to pick a color and sheen. The shinier the sheen (i.e. gloss, semi-gloss, satin, eggshell, etc.), the more imperfections in your wall tend to show through. That’s why I’ve learned to pick “flat” as my sheen for the walls. I think I picked eggshell for the kitchen, simply because glossier sheens do tend to wipe down easier.
Primer – If you’re painting over a bold existing wall color, you’ll want to start with a coat (or 2) of primer. Paint experts will probably recommend that you use it regardless. We always use it on our ceilings after we remove popcorn, because the bare drywall soaks it up like a sponge. And we’d rather the drywall soak up inexpensive primer than paint. Nowadays you can actually get paint that’s mixed with primer, but I have yet to try one of those products.
Paint Key & Stir Sticks – Seems obvious, but you’ll be surprised at how often people forget these two items. The paint key is a little metal tool used to open the paint can (also works well as a bottle opener), and the stir sticks are those wooden sticks used to stir the paint if, like me, you buy the paint with the intention of using it right away but instead let it sit in your laundry room for weeks before you build up the energy to actually clear out and paint a room. Most paint supply stores will provide these items at no charge.
Roller & Tray – Pick a decent roller handle and a package of nice-quality rolls. I don’t use the foam rolls, and I pick something that says it’s made for smooth surfaces. Because… you know… my walls are smooth. And I hate cleaning paint trays. So. Even though it is arguably the less eco-friendly option, I buy the thin, disposable tray liners that sit inside a regular paint tray. Just think of how much water I’m saving by not spending an hour trying to wash out a tray!
Paint Brush/Edger – This is for painting around your trim. I’ve used one of those flat edgers before, which tends to work pretty well. However, it’s annoying if you get too much paint on it (which happens to me a lot), so nowadays I prefer this perfect little short-handled brush to paint around the trim.
Paint edger
Short-handled paint brush. This is the Wooster “Shortcut” brush, and I picked it up on a whim at the Home Depot paint counter. This baby handled like a PRO. I could easily cut-in around the trim without getting any paint ON the trim itself. The best part? I saved a ton of time and money from not having to use painter’s tape.
Painter’s Tape (optional) – With the use of a brush like the one above, I strongly urge you to try painting around the room without using tape. However, if you still feel the need, splurge on something called Frog Tape over the typical blue tape. I found that frog tape peels off much more cleanly with a lot less paint seepage.
Tip: Remove the tape before the paint completely dries – it’s less likely you’ll peel your paint off with the tape.
Drop Cloth (optional) – You can easily avoid drippage by not overloading your paint roller, but if you want to be on the safe side, invest in a drop cloth to protect your floors.
Helpers (optional) – These can make or break a project. You decide whether it’s worth the risk.
So here’s what you need to do to have a perfectly painted room:
1. Clear out the room. If some furniture is large, you can just push it towards the middle. But the emptier the room, the easier it is to paint. Also be sure to remove your light switch and outlet cover plates. It’s very simple to do with a screwdriver, and your finished room will look much cleaner by painting under the switch plates rather than over them.
2. Fill-in any holes in the wall with mud and a putty knife. No, not mud from your backyard. I love, love love this DAP Fast ‘N Final Lightweight Spackling putty. It’s the consistency of cool whip or a light frosting, and is SO easy to apply. It goes on incredibly smooth and you can paint right over without even sanding! It’s perfect for me, since I’m terrible at planning ahead. (Although the reviewers on Amazon beg to differ. Maybe I’m just a spackling pro?)
3. Open up your paint, give it a good stir, and use your short-handle brush or edger to start painting around the trim. I fill a small container with paint so I can easily carry it around the room with me rather than continuously running back over to the gallon bucket to fill my brush. You’ll want to paint smoothly around every window and doorway, and also along the ceiling (or crown molding) and baseboards, and even down the inside corners of the room and around all of the light switches and outlets. Also get any narrow spaces (like between a doorway and a wall) that are too narrow for the roller. Basically, you’re outlining the entire room where it will be difficult for the roller to reach.
Yes, it’s tedious. No, it’s not fun. But get some good music crankin’, put on your big boy/girl panties, and muscle up.
THEN, do it again. That’s right – you’re going to want to do 2 coats of this trim paint to ensure even coverage. Don’t worry, though – the second coat goes much more quickly than the first. You probably won’t need to worry about drying time. By the time you finish the first coat, the place where you started will likely be dry enough to start round 2.
You can see in the above photo that I opted out of using primer this time. The color I chose was darker than the other sample colors on the wall, and the walls were already fairly smooth. Plus, I was just plain lazy. But the Glidden interior paint (my first time using this brand) seems to be holding up pretty well! You can also see our ceilings were not-yet painted. Normally I would recommend painting the ceilings before the walls, but I am not the ceiling painter of the house and was tired of waiting, so I went ahead with the walls first.
4. Now that you’ve completed all of your tedious tracing, it’s time to color it in! Fill the deep part of your paint tray with the paint, load up your roller (but not too much – you don’t want massive paint drippage), and start applying it to the walls. I think it’s debatable about whether you should paint in a “W” pattern or straight up and down – in the end, you just want to make sure you get a nice, even look without any streaks or drips. I use the “W” method.
And again, you’re going to do 2 coats. If you took your time painting around the trim, this part should be a breeze. And the paint might look uneven as you roll it on, but pay attention as it dries – it should even out and you shouldn’t see any streaks when it’s completely dry.
Now is not the time to quit. You will get a decent shoulder workout. This may be the time you decide to crack open a motivational beer. When I feel like I want to quit because I’m covered in sweat and paint and my hands feel like they might snap off at the wrist, I know in my heart that it’s time for a beer.
In the end, it’s completely worth it. There’s a huge sense of satisfaction that comes from transforming sterile, hospital-like white walls into something warm that can highlight trim work, photography, art, or just makes you feel more at home.
But I will stand by my original assessment that HGTV is full of CRAP, and this is not something you would want to do over and over again if you don’t like the color. Choose wisely, my friends.
5. Clean, clean, clean! When you’re finished painting, you will be so tempted to just drop everything in the middle of the floor and call it a day. But cleanup isn’t so bad if you used a drop cloth and a disposable paint tray. The most important step is cleaning your paint brush. Run it under warm water while gently pressing and flattening the bristles on the bottom of the sink. Keep going until the water runs clear. THEN, give the brush some good whacks on the edge of the counter or on a paper towel. This will fluff the bristles back up and get your brush ready to use for the next go ’round.
Sooo… remember to fluff your brush by whacking it to get it ready for use. (Man, why can’t I seem to avoid porn references in this blog?? It’s like I don’t even have to try.)
